A good bit going on these days...a lot to think over and pray on...house for sale, big purchases to compemplate/research, events to plan - and the daily grind of household chores do not seem to stop. I understand life is life in this worldly world we tick away our time in...so much of what fills my thoughts is of no value at all. It is disheartening at times....
Hard day today. I slept really really badly last night with a mind that wouldn't stop and a baby inside me that wouldn't either (of course, the Italian we had for dinner probably didn't help my case). I don't think I am the only one who gets edgy the day after a long night. I could feel myself losing it several times today. I even yelled at each child horribly and had to ask forgiveness and explain that mommy was having a hard time today. When their precious response was to tell me how much they loved me, that it was ok, and that I could play with them when I was not frustrated anymore - then I felt like the worst (yet most blessed) Mommy in the world. Well, that was my day today. My children were wild. I was not nice. In order to be totally transparant here, I was not a very good Mommy today.
Tonight, my son messed up BIG time. He had a rather inconsiderate/not so nice day himself. He is in trouble - the BIG kind - the kind that we sent him straight to bed for us to discuss further discipline. As I kissed him good night, my whole day came back to me. My yelling. My impatience. My tiredness and lack of energy to play. My mess ups. I felt the intense need to again let him know my disappointment in his actions yet my never-ending love for him. I wanted him to know that his mommy loved him no matter how badly he behaves. His response was as innocent as can be...he said, "Mom, I know you love me. No matter how bad I can get sometimes, you will always love me. I am yours."
And so, this mom is reminded once again of MY Father's love for me. No matter how badly I acted today, how "checked out" I became from my kiddos today, how much I longed for a break....God loves me. He adores me even. I am so glad I have another chance tomorrow to be better for Him and for my little ones...I am so blessed that true love does not depend on how well I behave...
a good night sleep will do this clan a world of good tonight...tomorrow is a new day!
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You know Beth, you are the most awesome mom. I can't imagine you being a not so good mom! Even the best people need a break every now and then. You are investing your whole world into your children and sometimes, with the lack of sleep, can be too much. It is amazing that our God loves us through those times just as much as you love your kids through their times. C and S and the new one are so fortunate to have you as their mom. I just hope that I can be half the mom that you are! Go easy on that boy, will ya! Welcome to him getting older huh? Love ya,
Tricia
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