thinking instead of sleeping

I just woke up to the sound of a screaming one year old...he has caught a yucky nose from VBS...he is back down for the time...but, now I can't get back to sleep...and, the thinking begins...

Today, while I was reviewing our Bible story with the 5 year olds in my VBS class, I was trying to get the point across about immediate obedience. We had studied Jesus' disciples leaving their nets immediately to follow Him to become fishers of men. I joked around saying "Did Jesus ask them to follow Him after lunch? what about after they played with their toys? what about after their naps? No, they dropped what they were doing and followed Him." My Little Miss has had trouble lately with this little lesson. So, well, my hopes were to point out the disciples' obedience and the importance of not putting off what we are called to do....as well as you can with 5 year olds. To be honest, I finished my review hoping something stuck, and I haven't thought of it since - until now.

I don't know why I sit here amazed that God strings together conversations with devotional readings with songs on the radio...all to get His point across to me. Since I couldn't get back to sleep, I decided to do a little reading. I opened my devotional book (that I have been skipping around in) to read about James and John being called to follow. Ha! That just makes me laugh as I type it. How funny my Savior is to wake me up for a little "review" of my own! I guess I need a little reminding myself to obey immediately, to follow Him without pause, to throw down my measly nets of day to day stuff and get busy with what matters most...to Him.

Well, my book's author has a cute sense of humor herself. In this one reading, she calls herself the "Mom Hard to Pry Away." She says "it's me....I'm the one who feels like she's barely hanging on...it feels like we're always "managing" - managing schedules, responsibilities, behavior, consequences." She talks about how she had forgotten her sense of peace - where she can REALLY listen for her Lord to speak, to pray, to be silent before Him. As a Mom Hard to Pry Away, she couldn't remember the basics of spiritual life....she was so buried beneath stress and schedules that it became hard for her to lead her family to be all they were created to be. Wow! I want to model a life of obedience, immediate obedience. Jesus called those fishermen to drop their nets, leave their boats and lives, commit to Him. He didn't expect excuses or "but wait's" - he expected their obedience. They didn't ask to have a few months until their little one could be more independent or for their savings to be padded a little more. They never asked permission from their parents. They didn't waiver while fearing what their friends would think. They obeyed and followed. And, ohhhh, the journey and adventure they experienced!!!!

So, am I too busy "leading" my household that I have neglected my "following"? Granted, life with three children and a busy hubby does not leave a great amount of time to sit and soak in complete quiet with the Lord. So, my devotional's last paragraph really hit me and has left me a little speechless. My Father had this message for me today. I did not catch it this morning at VBS. But, I caught it after a midnight cry from my baby's room. For fear of not doing the paragraph justice in paraphrasing...I am going to type it out below...for you, just in case you need this little word too...but for me, mainly....to etch it in my heart, to ponder the questions she poses, to post for another day to remind myself that God knows RIGHT WHERE I AM. Amazing....

"So, who are we to question Him? Who are we to say, "No thanks. I can't take the time. I'm too important. I can't trust what will happen to my house, children, laundry...whatever"? Would we really say such silly, trivial, self-centered things to our Savior? God is calling each of us, this day, to come away and spend five minutes, five hours, five days with Him. And nothing - nothing - is more important than that. I'm speaking to you, Mom Hard to Pry Away - and, I am speaking to myself. God calls. If He is Priority Number One to us, to our husbands, and to our children, can we afford to say, "Maybe later, Father"? Think about it for a second. If Jesus Christ were right here before you now, asking you to come away for a time and abide with Him, would you be able to say no? Retreat? Vacation? An afternoon in a park while the kids spend two hours with a friend? Find your space and commit it to God. He'll do the rest."

Follow. Obey. He'll do the rest. I have some thinking to do....and some listening.